When You Can No Longer

I want to start by sharing with you a very personal testimony.

Since last year I have been struggling with prayer. And, when I speak of fighting, I am not referring to the normal fight that we have with our flesh that does not want or does not feel praying at certain times. It was more than that.

It all started when I started my first full time job. For me it meant something new and exciting, but at the same time, a great change. All my lifestyle, how I was organized and others had to be adjusted.

At first it was very difficult to adapt. In that process of adaptation I began to get involved in what the Bible describes as “life’s desires.” And although it was part of the process when faced with something new, little by little I got involved in it so that my mind was easily distracted.

When I tried to pray, I did not concentrate or did not know what to say. When I read the Bible, I did not understand what God wanted to speak to me or hold the word during the day. It was very difficult and frustrating. As hard as I tried, my mind wouldn’t let me.

In times of change (transition) in our lives, Satan exploits
our vulnerability to attack us and divert us from God’s purpose.

I tell you, I am usually a person who throughout his day keeps
talking to God and even in the smallest details he listens to God speak or saw him work. But, this was no longer happening. I did not understand what was happening to me and I could not move forward.

I COULD NOT DO IT ANYMORE.

But the cares of this century, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the greed of other things, enter and drown the word, and it becomes fruitless.

Mark 4:19
With tears on my face and with an anguished heart, I cried out to God for his help to free me from all this that prevented me from seeking him. I never stopped crying.

Perhaps, like me, you have felt that your time with God is not the same. Perhaps the cares of this life, anxiety or stress are preventing you from recognizing His voice and resting in His presence. But, DO NOT STOP CRYING. Although all you do is that. Although the only thing that comes out is a song from your playlist on YouTube or Spotify: DO NOT STOP.

God is there in that dark and difficult time. Your help is on the way.

One of the responses to that cry was to attend a women’s camp in my Church. My only request was that God make some change in my mind, that someone
help me and pray for my mind because the attack was very strong.

There are things that depend on us, on decisions we must make, but there are times when we cannot do it alone and we need to seek help.

Sometimes we believe that in our own strength we can do it. But, for something God has put us in community with brothers in faith who are at our service to help us, encourage us, pray for us.

I remember that one of the camp nights while the preacher was
praying, I was struggling to focus. I felt a tightness in my mind. There was a battle that was being fought. There were spirits that were attacking my mind so that I would not advance or grow in my relationship with God.

But, God greatly strengthened me, they prayed for me and the situation improved
even though I still had struggles. At least, I already understood what was happening to me and I was able to continue advancing in my intimate relationship with the Lord.

God is in the valley and in the mountains, in our sadness and joy, in
failure and victory. He never stops being present. Even Jesus
understands us . Yes, He understands you.

One of my favorite passages is when Jesus was in Gethsemane. One of the moments where he was most vulnerable. He was about to be executed, betrayed, and brought to the Cross for our sins.

Jesus was God, but He was also a man of flesh and blood but without
sin. He experienced an internal struggle just as it has happened to
us. But, his attitude is worth imitating.

Then Jesus said to them: My soul is very sad, until death; stay
here, and watch with me.Jesus cried out. And he didn’t do it once, he did it three times. Until he was
strengthened to do the will of God.

And being in agony, I prayed more intensely; and it was his sweat like great drops of blood falling to the ground. Luke 22:44

My exhortation is that: even if you can’t do it anymore, don’t stop crying out. Pray
until you are strengthened. Pray until help from heaven arrives and you can continue to do God’s will.

I leave you the link of a praise. I hope it is of strength to your life.

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